CaRiNG aBouT D NuMBeRS...
sometimes its so hard to do what you have to do in order to prevent your numbers from increasing. even if you put your whole mind into it, it just isn't enough. the will power it needs to help you bring it down is just too big and too hard to muster.
but why do some people have it easy? they normally have lesser numbers than i have and yet they can satisfy themselves a whole lot more without adding a unit or two.
as for me, if i lose just a little, tinny, winny inch of control, it easily shows. does one really have to look at his numbers to know if someone may be able to appreciate him? why do we always have to look at this aspect of ourselves to make sure we can be liked? is this really the basis of admiration? or even just simple acceptance? or do we have to simply accept the fact and move on. these are my numbers and i should accept it. i have to move forward and be myself.
do i still try to make the numbers go down? do i need to after accepting the fact that this is how I am?
i know i have been rambling about this for quite some time. its a phase of mine that shows up one moment and disappears the next.
just bear with me and i'll be okay.
just BEAR with me...hahaha!
what the heck...